Sunday, September 28, 2008

Longing heart

I'm so speechless...
I'm always thinking how important am I to you compared to your game.
It's not only once that you've proved to me that your game is more important than I am.
I was ignored and I was sad.
You only realized what you have done hours later which is already enough for my heart to be shattered.
And then you told me you're sorry I don't know the exact reason of why you are being sorry.
Sorry for ignoring me or sorry for making me sad or sorry that you don't realize that you've ignored me?
I'm always telling myself..thats just a game...but that one game can show me actually how important am I to you.

Communication has gone lesser and you know it yourself.
Why things have to be worse when the problem is already out?
I don't understand why that you told me I'm important to you but when you didn't need me you just put me aside?and only to come back to me when things are not right?
I'm feeling so miserable..tell me why..
I'm not convinced by your words and the trust for you is going away.
I don's wish for this instead I cried for this.
It's been like hell for me to keep thinking why a person who claimed that he loves me but he keeps hurting me and make me cry?
Is that what you call love? and does love have to be this way?
I thought love was bliss and least happiness would be more than sadness.
Heaps of patience and tolerance were forced to fit into my personality and you didn't know how much pain it is to change myself..I'm trying so hard to cope with you and your lifestyle
It has been so long I'm still doing it till now...
I used to make you happy so easily but there's too much sorrows in my heart which made me lose the ability to do so anymore.

I'm longing for you to come back to me.
I miss you.
I love to talk to you..Its really nice to hear you talking to me especially when you sound so excited to talk to me it makes me so happy.
When you do so I feel loved and also you want me to be a part of your life even though we're far apart.
I love those sweet texts you used to send to me they are so cute.
Until this very moment since the day I got to know you I am still excited to get your messages and calls. I don't know about you and what you're thinking..I wonder if you're too excited to get my messages and calls.
I hope you are too.

I have flaws all over me.
I'm not confident enough that I'm able to keep you by my side.
I start to get scared.
Afraid that you'll leave me.
Afraid that someone else will steal your heart away.
Make me trust you okay?
I want the trust to come back...
Its not back yet since the day you killed my trust for you.

Don't leave me.

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