Monday, November 15, 2010

I'm dejected too

A very rare '2posts-a-day' day.
I don't usually update much but for now I just don't feel like talking to anyone at all. I wana hide myself in a hole and stay out of the world. I just want to be alone. I don't want my emotions to affect me too much. I felt like a dumb blonde [sorry for stereotyping but imho I had the most 'dumb blonde moment ever!] and I totally felt like a bimbo.
But a part of me feels there's a need to let out my feelings. I will die if I let myself continue evolving in this emotion. Hence, blogging it is. A soliloquy is what I need. Not a real communication yet.

Its funny to see how my appetite deteriorate so drastically.
Last night I had 4 rounds of supper after dinner. No, I did not eat to make myself gain weight. I actually felt horrible eating but I just can't resist satisfying myself hunger. I was drooling over a packet of Maggi mee okay. T.T I was THAT serious.
But now, after this morning, when I had the stupidest moment ever, when I was striked by the biggest impact of the year [which was caused by myself] , my humongous appetite was swept away as quick as a wind blow.
I spent an hour to finish a cup of hot chocolate. And that was my lunch.

I'm now more ready than ever to expect your coming.

I'm surprised by the calls and messages I received. Very much appreciated. Really.
I really could use a wish right now..as how Hayley Williams sang it.
I want to turn back time. I wish to turn back 6 hours from now. Just 6 onlyyy. I will be really really grateful if it happens.
*smacks head* Dream on Ciara.. T.T

You know its surprising that recently a few people that I don't expect to hear from and are actually alert of my statuses. I don't mean facebook only [if that came to your mind as soon as you see the word 'status'] It feels good when you know that people still care and are not totally ignorant towards you.

Gahhh I better put myself together and get over this.
I'm optimistic and I will always be!

xoxo,
Ciara



6 comments:

-LuVeRGaL- said...

i care dear! time will wash away your problems. be optimistic! and i'm always here if u wanna talk =) <3

Ciara said...

Thank you dear!
You're so sweet.
I'm okay now. I'm already cooling down.
<3 love you

katy barber! said...

Optimism is definitely the way to go :)

And I experience really odd appetite changes as well. I hope everything works out for you. :)

Ciara said...

heyy thanks! <3

katy barber! said...

you're welcome :)

Ciara said...

:D